Leaving diet culture is kind of like growing out bangs.
You start out and think this is going to be great! This action is going to solve all my woes. No more bang trims or hair in my eyes when I work out. It's going to be ahhh-MAY-zing.
Then three months hence, your hair looks like Medusa. It's a tangled mess of ugly. You can't figure out what to do with all these not bangs not real hair yet.
And it feels like forever. With the ugly hair dos and random ways to pin back hair without it sticking straight up.
Then one day, you can make a whole pony tail or have that sexy model hair over your eye look (for 2 seconds until you realize that hair covering your eyes is sexy looking and annoying AF in real life.)
So you decide you're done with dieting. It's going to be magical. Of course you'll still eat a green smoothie or 2, but you could eat all.the.funnel cakes. And no guru is going to shame you for that.
Then three months hence, you realize that your abs look like the bang equivalent of medusa hair. And that funnel cakes actually make you feel like shit when consumed in large quantities.
You're still doing all the inner work to be able to practice intuitive eating like the book says....where your intuition tells you that you are done eating before you're stuffed and when you listen when it says more spinach please.
You can't figure out why the fuck your intuition says funnel cake at all. And why it feels so little like the brilliant healthy, shame free end that the book describes (I have not actually read an intuitive eating book, so I don't know, but it's like this in every other genre of self help book.)
It's because there are lessons to learn. There is still work to do. And there are few books written from the medusa bang stage of life. People don't want to know about the messy middle. Books like that just don't sell well. People want to know that there is resolution.
And I want you to know, I'm here with you. I feel you. I see you. And I'm in the messy middle writing a Face Book (see what I did there??) just for you.